MBTI Series: ISTJ & Interpersonal Skills

Today we're going to discuss an often misunderstood type, ISTJ.  From the outside they may seem like a very distant and cold person who has no interest in connecting with people and a lot of times when they do it seems that they're mean.  Well, this person is not inherently mean, but rather someone who is more of a minimalist.  He/She only speaks when needed and usually they need to speak because they need something that someone else is/was supposed to provide.  ISTJs can seem very short and to-the-point with everyone, and while this may be acceptable in some environments not everyone understands where they're coming from.  So, let's talk more about this mysterious type, dispel some biases, and of course provide suggestions for ISTJs to build on their emotional intelligence.


INTROVERSION-SENSING-THINKING-JUDGING (ISTJ)
If you're an ISTJ you may hear yourself thinking, or saying something like "it's just easier if I do it myself" especially when it comes to delegating to someone who is perceived as less competent as you.  You have a tendency to insist on consistency, meaning everything that is done needs to be done at the same level and in the same way as before and preferably the way you do them.  You have high expectations for yourself and you have the same for everyone else.  Because of this, and the fact that ISTJs work in a very focused, calm, and task-oriented manner, they can often be seen as impersonal and blunt.  We might have a valid argument with blunt, because of the need to be task-oriented and get the information they need in the least amount of discussion as possible.  But, impersonal they are not!


ISTJs tend to be seen as impersonal because most people don't understand how a group of people can sit around each other, not make eye-contact, or even talk to each other and yet still be enjoying their company. To the outsider that just looks like multiple beings tolerating each other in their space rather than spending time together.  ISTJs would disagree and argue that they don't need to be engaged with another human being to feel their closeness and care for each other.  So in light of these miss-perceptions I'm going to provide a few suggestions for ISTJs and ask everyone else to remember this post and not jump to conclusions just because someone seemed blunt.  Bluntness can be confused with rudeness, but it's more about getting the information quickly whereas rudeness contains a lack of caring for the other individuals involved.  It's hard to decipher the difference without asking, so don't be afraid of communication with ISTJs because they actually value accuracy and prefer people clearing the air than jumping to conclusions.


Some suggestions for ISTJ personalities:

1. Your strength is in the details, so keep your attention to details high because what others miss you'll catch which is a great asset to organizations.
2. Start listening more empathetically and showing personal interest in others. Empathy isn't about sympathy, but rather being able to put yourself in the other person's position and understand where they're coming from and why they might be upset, happy, etc.
3. Start considering the big-picture and contextual issues like what's most important in the long run or if the decision that you're suggesting is made then what would be the implications for all involved.
4. Reduce the amount of insisting on consistency with things and remember to consider the big picture.
5. Try not to ignore other people's emotional reactions as being moody, but rather inquire about their reaction to better understand them and hopefully come to a resolution.

For more information about MBTI there are great resources at your local library, or CLICK HERE to review the other MBTI entries from our blog.  Some information in this blog was inspired by and drawn from Introduction to Type and Emotional Intelligence by Roger R. Pearman.