MBTI Series: ENFJ & Helpfulness

Is there someone you know, whether it's personally or in your office, who is almost always chipper, willing to help, and has leadership qualities?  Sometimes I'm envious of their energy levels and how they can connect with almost everyone.  I'm an introvert, so natural extroverts always intrigue me and when you add in the helpfulness and leadership qualities... well, let's just say I'm infatuated.  Most often than not I just described an ENFJ in his/her prime.  Don't get me wrong, every MBTI type has both positives and negatives and we'll explore ENFJs' today.

EXTROVERSION-INTUITIVE-FEELING-JUDGING (ENFJ)
The "heart" of any MBTI type is the middle two letters, and in this case NF.  An intuitive-feeler is someone who can have high emotional intelligence and can easily show warmth, support, and is very inclusive of friends, co-workers, etc.  Because of this they are seen as natural leaders, but when taken too far can be to helpful.  Everyone enjoys a little help now and then, but no one likes to be seen as incompetent.  Some people take offense to helpfulness because as helpfulness turns into taking away people's job duties their purpose in the job is also taken away.

Leadership and support are great in the appropriate amounts and as long as your Emotional Intelligence is developed well enough then you can achieve just the right balance.  When we consider ENFJ as a whole we see that they like to make decisions, check things off their list, and tend to move to these conclusions rather quickly.  They can also have a tendency to internally draw connections between the problems that exist and possible solutions, which can leave others in the dark on their decision making.  Combine this with an overly "helpful" personality and they can easily been seen by others as a manager who doesn't trust anyone, but is very nice on the surface which can quickly lead to distrust among a team.  So while they can be natural leaders, as a healthy personality, every type has the potential for a negative perspective.

Some suggestions for ENFJ personalities:

1. Create methods to review and verify your details, and then share your internal process with your team while seeking honest feedback and possibly altering your decision based upon the team's suggestions
2. Continue to engage and link others into the group to encourage cohesiveness
3. Start setting clearer boundaries and asking for specific actions of people instead of "helping" too often
4. Stop putting of important tasks in favor of meeting people needs.  Sometimes you have to make a hard decision even if not everyone in the group is satisfied with the end decision.

For more information about MBTI there are great resources at your local library, or CLICK HERE to review the other MBTI entries from our blog.  Some information in this blog was inspired by and drawn from Introduction to Type and Emotional Intelligence by Roger R. Pearman.

MBTI Series: ESFP & conflict management

In continuation of the MBTI posts I'm going to focus on one aspect about each personality related to Emotional Intelligence.  Remember that the MBTI is not about pointing fingers, but about acknowledging your own personal strengths and weaknesses and how those fit with the other 15 types.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
There are 5 types of people when it comes to conflict management: Competitors, Collaborators, Compromisers, Avoiders, and Accommodators.

Competitors tend to fight for their side of the argument and have a strong desire to be right.  You'll find more males in this category than females.

Collaborators lean towards understanding the other point of view and desires to work together and come up with a decision/course of action which is mutually agreed upon by all.

Compromisers want to meet in the middle.  This way nobody gives up their side of the argument but a decision is made that will satisfy all parties through a logically determined method.  You'll find more people who identify on the thinking scale in this category.

Avoiders don't want a conflict to even occur.  In fact if we gave this category a mantra it would be "Can't we just all get along?"  They severely dislike conflict and would much rather avoid the topic than have to deal with the problem.  You'll find more people identifying as feelers in this category.

Accommodators also seek and strive for harmony when there is conflict.  They would much rather give into what the other person wants just so a sense of harmony can exist.  Usually they are not attached to any decision, but value peace more.  This is typically an alternative for Avoiders, if they can't avoid the problem then they'll accommodate to the other party.

If you identified as a true Accommodator, meaning someone who chooses that solution first then  you might be an ESFP.  People who identify as an ESFP have many wonderful qualities, but typically their largest weakness is conflict management.  Is conflict confusing to you?  Do you honestly not care what decision is made because most of the time the conflict isn't that big of a deal?  Do you seek harmony in any situation and will do whatever it takes to achieve it?

EXTROVERTED-SENSING-FEELING-PERCEIVING (ESFP)
ESFP people have some amazing strengths like teamwork and support of a team, energy and lively personality, and many people enjoy being around them.  They are great with motivation because they'll find what matters to each individual and others are energized by them because of the common ground that's found.  Their strongest strength is around relationship building because of their ability to make connections with people and build rapport, plus their view on finding solutions which serve and satisfy everyone.

If you think you may identify as an ESFP then you'll want to heed these suggestions for overall development and challenge:

1. Continue to be supportive and encouraging to others
2. Continue networking with others
3. Begin focusing more on the long-term outcomes instead of pleasing each individual 
4. Begin attending to big-picture possibilities instead of focusing on the components and getting caught up in the details of each activity/program/event
5. Stop equating harmony with the idea of the "best solution" in a situation
6. Stop avoiding conflict, and try out a different mode of conflict management like collaboration or compromising

For more information about MBTI there are great resources at your local library, or CLICK HERE to review the other MBTI entries from our blog.  Some information in this blog was inspired by and drawn from Introduction to Type and Emotional Intelligence by Roger R. Pearman.